Patients Rarely Are Virtuous

In classic movies, the dying hero or heroine exhibits enviable dignity and nobility, and even presents a fetching appearance. You probably know that in actuality, this is not so. Not even close.

When people are sick, they're at their worst, often striking out like injured animals.

There isn't necessarily an all-purpose tip for dealing with this--but here are a few suggestions to help make your situation bearable:

• Do not respond in kind. Maintain your equilibrium. Pause before answering a verbal tirade or angry email. Keep your voice even and pleasant. Assure your friend or family member that you are available when he would like your help. Later, you'll be glad to have behaved maturely.
• Seek support. Find others who are, or have been, in the self-same situation.
• ...Or friends who will listen, even if they haven't gone through exactly what you are going through.
• Take time out for yourself. You need to eat properly, rest adequately, exercise and pursue stress-reducing activities.

Illness usually brings out the worst in others, and can exacerbate family problems and tensions, as well. Don't let another person's health crisis bring out the worst in you.